radicalmoderate

A Landing Pad for Soaring Rhetoric

2008-05-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a life long Republican and I have been trying to determine what it is about Obama that makes me want to vote for him.

Everyone says he is full of fluff, lacking details, simply offering lofty rhetoric. But I am a pretty logic based person, not usually swayed by flowery speeches. So I have sifted through the information that catches my eye and boiled it down. Along the lines of 'actions speak louder than words', here is what matters to me.

First, he pays his bills. Anytime there is a finance report put out he is the one candidate carrying no debt. He outspends every one and still pays his bills. It seems to me a pretty significant indication of fiscal responsibility. And Lord knows this country needs a leader who only spends within our means.

Second, he has found ways to raise money creatively. Its a three pronged approach really. Prong one, he seeks to register new voters, potraying his campaign as almost secondary to the goal of getting American citizens to embrace their right to vote.

The act of registering voters makes a political statement that indicates the candidate knows and respects the people he really works for. It fosters a sense of loyalty in these new voters and many of them become likely to cast their vote for him, which is really the second stop on the way to fundraising.

Because we all know that loyalty often translates to cash. And here is where he brings home his third step in the process. He actively asks for small donations, that the average voter does not find overwhelming. Historically people raising funds for various causes have all tried to drink from the same well, fancy fundraisers and rich people. Country Clubs see more politicians in a week than the average voter sees in a lifetime.

Obama has effectively drilled his own new well by recognizing that there are smaller increments of accessible funding out there which matter when they all add up.

Third, this process demonstrates his ability to strategize and 'think outside the box'. We should not underestimate the need for a leader who 'thinks outside the box'. Clearly our usual game plan is currently failing us miserably. We need a leader with fresh strategies, who sees things from a different perspective.

Fourth, his perspective on voters. Have you seen his political ads? Look at them carefully. They don't look like the usual political ads. No soundbites from other candidates, no emotional pictures of war, no gimmicks. The predominant stars in his ads are....general citizens, lots of them. Instead of messages to the voters, they are messages from the voters.

They don't attempt to tell voters what to think, rather they seem to be reporting what voters are thinking on their own. They portray him as more in touch with and connected to voters.

Its an indication of where his priorities lay and its a brilliant marketing strategy.

Fifth, he knows what to confront and what to blow off. Lapel pin? Yeah, sometimes I wear it sometimes I don't, enough said. Racial divide? Well, that needs a landmark speech. The man simply has good judgment about sorting out and prioritizing the important stuff from the junk.

Next...he is willing to confront tough stuff. That landmark speech about race relations in America is going to be studied in college classrooms for years. He said things that have been hanging in the air since Reconstruction, things that needed to be said so that we could all be challenged to move on from what is our greatest issue of division. That moment was akin to the end of Apartheid or the 'I Have a Dream' speech.

And.....he is calm and carries the demeanor of a level headed leader. Whatever has been thrown at him he has not bitten back. How easy would it have been to roast the Clintons....goodness knows the ammunition exists. And no I don't think he held it in because it was good for him. I think he held it in because that is his character.

He has made no snide sideways remarks that invoke assassinations or comparisons to failed and controversial campaigns.

He seems thoughtful, peaceful even. Maybe we have had enough discussion about kicking a#! and taking names. Maybe we need a little civility, a little calm on the International front.

His mouth has been where his money is. Simply put, he has worked his way up. He's the only candidate who has a long history of being in the trenches working with the poor, disenfranchised and average citizens. When it wasn't famous and didn't pay well he did the job anyway. Now he is asking for a newer version of the job he has done all along.

He didn't do social justice work for the poor and average citizens to earn points on the way to the Presidency, instead he wants the Presidency so he can continue that work.

Last, he apparently hires and manages good people. Often the best hallmark of a leader is how they hire. Great speech writers, great finance people, great strategists, great marketing, a great message and the ability to motivate and organize it all are the quintessential characteristics of a great leader.

If I was hiring for a CEO this candidate would be hard to beat. He's just what I'm looking for.

Meanwhile, Clinton and McCain use the same old tactics; look at my life in politics, let me highlight my competition in ads, let me call names politely. They are so busy talking at their competition that they have failed to talk to the American people. And instead of recognizing the difference in tactics and perhaps learning from it, they simply whine that Barack isn't using the same tactics they do.

His plan is winning, against great odds, theirs is losing. The American people can see the landing pad under the soaring rhetoric. And they like it.

What Barack Has Already Achieved

2008-05-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

We are so busy looking for a nominee and then a President that we are at risk of too quickly overlooking a larger achievement that Barack Obama has already attained.

Yes, you understood me, larger than being the first black nominee of a major party or being the first black President.

Barack has forged a legacy. And it is imperative that its importance not be underestimated.

Even if the wheels came off his campaign tomorrow and he lost the nomination or the Presidency, his impact has been profound and in decades to come when we analyze political races we will talk about 'The Obama Effect'.

Barack has dared to do what many African Americans only dreamed could one day happen. White America forgets too quickly that Jim Crow Laws from 1876 - 1965 kept Black America disenfranchised from the political process. Imagine as a community having been freed only to lose the most significant privilege of that freedom, the right to participate fully in society, for the next 89 years.

Black Americans have only started to feel the full possession of their political rights since the late 1960's.

In 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. was expressing the dreams of many African Americans when he called for a nation where his children would be judged by their character, despite the color of their skin.

America is even today, as each of us cast votes, deciding if we can and will do that. We are literally watching history unfold, testing our own character, our ability to deliver the final promises of the Emancipation Proclamation that the Executive Government of the United States would recognize the freedom of African Americans and do nothing to repress them in their efforts to realize that actual freedom.

Barack's campaign is a harbinger that African Americans are poised to finally cash in on those century old promises to realize their full and actual freedom.

Martin Luther King dreamt that in the states of Mississippi and Alabama and Georgia oppression would give way to whites and blacks who joined together to achieve common goals.

We cannot forget that in those three states specifically, Barack Obama earned the votes of millions, blacks and whites, and won the primaries. In the moment when he won those states he fulfilled a great portion of Martin Luther King's dream, of the African American dream.

Barack is bridging the final gap of disenfranchisment, the idea that Black America is free but not equal, the idea that power cannot be held by minorities.

Win or lose Obama has introduced us to the radical idea that Black America is once and for all truly free. He has drawn a historical line of demarcation. The political world is broken into two zones, the time before Barack and the time after.

In the years to come minority candidates will flood city councils, state senates, Congress. They will flood the American political scene with a renewed optimism about what America is willing to give them, with a stronger belief in what we have in common than in what differentiates us.

Should Barack win the White House, that ultimate house of power, prestige and gentility, it will have a profound and often unspoken psychological effect on all of us.

Women have for years lived with a picture of ultimate beauty that was shaped by the rich and powerful, and mostly white. Imagine the effect on young black women who grow up watching other young black women live in the White House. They will be accustomed to the concept that anything powerful and beautiful and gentile can also be black. They will have the advantage of growing up with images that encourage them to believe that they live with no limitations.

I cannot help but think of the beauty, talent, intellect and gifts we are all deprived of as long as African Americans are marginalized. Imagine how much more we can achieve when we are united.

I am reminded of the old saying 'none of us are free until we all are'. Perhaps we can really, finally, be free at least.

Dropping Out; How It Improves Hillary's Legacy

2008-05-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

I know that sounds bizarre. Let me make it even more confusing by saying Hillary's biggest weakness is....Bill.

I know the going theory is that he is her biggest asset. And as is so often true, our greatest strength is our greatest weakness.

The buzz throughout the world is that if Hill was in, Bill would cause havoc. And I don't think we can underestimate that effect on her legacy.

Its true that Bill is a charismatic, powerful, fundraising machine with an arguably successful Presidency in his pocket. He was at least fiscally sucessful. Since the economy is the number one issue amongst voters, you would think Hillary would be cleaning up based on that one issue alone. The fact that she's not is an indication that either Bill's history isn't that important to voters, or other parts of his history are more important.

Bill's charisma which earned him the most powerful place in the world, also nearly cost him that spot when the 'charisma ray' was aimed at a young intern.

Lately I have been thinking about how Hillary is tough, smart, sensible. I respect her and find her to be a competent policitian.

But do you remember when Bill's scandal broke and we all thought she was the Tammy Wynette of the White House? She seemed angry, bitter, holding on by her knuckles, admittedly with good reason. But that distraction stripped her of all her businesslike demeanor, even if only for a moment. She became, in the eyes of the nation, merely one more struggling, older, jilted wife, a sad and pitied figure.

Of course many of us sympathized with her and understood her reaction. But the fact remains that Bill's actions exposed a side of her that is not what we have come to expect from a President.

If Hillary wins the Whitehouse and Bill causes the havoc that is ineveitable, new affairs, bossing staffers, pushing his opinion into policy, perhaps even end running Hillary on decisions when he is so sure he knows better, then what?

Do we revisit that sad pitied figure we met once before? Are left with the legacy that a woman can't really run the White House because she is forever distracted by running her personal house? Are we reintroduced to the Tammy Wynette of the Presidency?

This is why I think it would be better for Hillary's legacy if she dropped out now. Our picure of her as the tough savvy woman who almost made it would stand untarnished. She would earn a lasting reputation as the woman who paved the way for an eventual female Presidency. She would be credited with opening more doors than any female before her. She could bestow the mantle on the woman of her choosing who will eventualy make it.

In addition, she would achieve permanent status as perhaps the most powerful person, not just woman, in modern politics. She would be handed any post in the Democratic party that she sought.

So Hillary, I beg you, leave us now with the idea that there is a woman tough enough, smart enough, strong enough. Leave us now with that sense of respect for you, that cognitive dissonance that might leave us longing for a woman leader in the future. That longing, that desire to fulfill your dream through a surrogate, could push the next woman over the top.

Sometimes the dream is better than the reality. This is one of those times.

Ohio May be Hinting at the Obama VP

2008-05-15T07:14:00.001-07:00

Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann has finally come to his sense (singular for a reason) and resigned. Rumors are that he was unaccepting of the message until deputies actually came to his office and started removing his items. We all need subtle hints here and there.

Ohio's much talked about Governor, Ted Strickland, is interviewing candidates for his replacement. One particular name has caught my attention.....Lieutenant Governor Lee Fisher.

Hhhhmm, Fisher was Attorney General before, in the 90's, and did a fine job. But the move back to Attorney General seems unusual. It is at best a lateral transfer. Perhaps a small step up, but would remove him from the line of succession to the throne, so to speak, and he has said publicly that he'd like to be involved in state level politics again.

I'm beginning to wonder what this might tell us about the national race for the Presidency. In particular I wonder if the appointment of Lee Fisher to Attorney General would signal Barack Obama's VP choice. Follow me for a minute here.

The two largest swing states are Ohio and Florida. Almost noone believes Barack can get Florida. He just does not do well with older, Jewish and Hispanic voters. His inability to land Florida makes it imperative that he gets Ohio in the general election.

Political pundits are theorizing that Obama needs a Clinton supporter on the ticket to unite the Democratic party and keep her voters. Ohio Governor Ted Strickland is an avid Clinton supporter.

Ted is also an older, white guy, 66, first in his family to attend college and born to factory working, poor, white folks in the Appalachian rust belt in Southern Ohio.

Barack has not done well with poor, rural and working class white voters.

Strickland was a longtime Congressman for the largest poor Appalachian district in Ohio. Where did he attend college? Kentucky.

He has a doctorate in psychology and besides being a prison psychologist he was a Methodist minister. When he ran for Governor a little more than a year ago he did so with the support of many Republicans, even some high profile Republicans who supported him publicly.

So lets check Barack's grocery list of VP needs;

1) Ohio

2) white guys

3) the older folks

4) an HRC supporter

5) experience

6) the rural poor

7) a card to play in Kentucky

8) someone to play to the conservative Christian right

Wow, a marriage made in heaven, what better than a VP candidate who is an older white male conservative Clinton supporter who has a shot at delivering a swing state?

Ted Strickand is saying no right now, I am sure out of loyalty to Hillary Clinton. But I have to wonder if Hillary dropped out, could he be swayed?

There are very few good reasons for moving Lt. Governor Lee Fisher to Attorney General. Perhaps Ohio Democrats intend to use the Lt. Governor's spot strategically to fortify the party when Ted leaves. Perhaps they could fill the Lt. Governor's spot with some up and comer or some historically significant figure, like a female or black candidate who would then rise to be Ohio's first female or black Governor when Ted joins Barack on the ticket.

Or perhaps Fisher is interested in moving to the Attorney General's spot because his rise to Governor is imminent and that's not what he signed up for.

If a new Lt. Governor is appointed and then moved to Governor it could give Ohio more prominence on the national scene, more support for Barack and a chance to revive and strengthen the momentum behind the Ohio Democratic party.

Ted Stickland makes an interesting choice for VP. He fills almost every gap where Barack falls short. And his appointment to the Obama VP slot could set the stage for Democrats to cement a stronghold in Ohio.

Rarely would a ticket ever have been so well balanced, diverse and served so many purposes. It would be a brilliant strategic choice and obvious winner.

Lets hope Barack and Ted figure that out.

What's That Smell?

2008-05-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

I think it might be John McCain's presidential aspirations going up in smoke.

I know we are all so enamored of the Democratic Primary that its hard to even remember that the Republicans are still out there schlepping along. But in case anyone bothered to look at the Indiana Republican Primary results, theyd' find something sort of interesting.

John McCain won...yes he did. With 77% of the votes. Wait, what? 77%? How is that possible when you are the only guy in the race?

Yes, I know technically Ron Paul is still in there but Romney and Huckabee still got votes. Huckabee got a pretty respectable 10% for a guy who is a non-campaigning drop out.

Is anyone in the Republican party a bit concerned about this?

I'm going to asssume that people who make sure they vote in primaries, especially when the candidate has already been decided, are some of your more faithful party members and regular voters. Don't you find it odd that in what is arguably the core of the party, McCain fares that poorly? I mean we're saying that almost 25% of his own party won't stick with him, don't want him, actively picked someone else.

I hate to be the one to break it to you there John. But I think you may have an uphill battle getting this win. In fact I think your fellow party members knew it would be pretty impossible and kind of said 'Oh well, give it to the old coot. He's been bugging us for years, we can't win it anyway and it'll make him happy.'

Unfortunately thats the same conversation we had about whether my grandpa could have a TV in his nursing home room. Not really a strategy on which to build a Presidency.

Kicked Out of the Tree House

2008-05-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

So the Ohio Democrats are back peddaling just a bit. They don't know if they can impeach Attorney General Marc Dann.

But never fear, in the meantime they have removed his name from their website and revoked their endorsement of him. Oh no! Whats next? Ripping up his princess points? Refusing to sit with him in the cafeteria?

Who put the girls from 'The Hills' in charge of Ohio politics?

Sit him down and remind him that you can make it hurt. If he goes away quietly now he still gets some small political input, a punditry job at a local station or newspaper, a cushy lobbying job or an overpaid professorship at a University. Tell him if he doesn't go he loses those options and will eventually give up his job.

Make him go, you can do it.

Meet the Father of the Year

2008-05-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

This poor bloke has been hounded by the press. They are making him out to be a monster and he is upset about it!

I mean lighten up, all he did was lock his daughter in a bunker for 24 years and father 7 children by force. Lets not loose our minds here people. There is no need for name calling.

In fact he makes a compelling argument for a little respect. First, he reminds us, he could have killed them all.

Maybe we should ask his children/grandchildren and daughter/baby momma if living in terror in a bunker is preferable to death. I suspect there have been a few days when they have debated that themselves.

And lets remember that he got medical attention for his daughter/granddaughter when she got sick. He could have let her die, kind of like he did his infant son/grandson whom he disposed of by burning in an oven.

And clearly the Austrians are kinder people than we overreacting Americans. After all, the Austrian authorities let him adopt some of the kids he had brought up out of the bunker, despite his prior rape conviction.

I can kind of understand how he snuck by them, what with that spiffy sense of grooming and winning smile. He's a strange cross between The Grinch and the Witch in Hansel and Gretel, of course they assumed kids would love him.

Get Off the Cross...We Need the Votes

2008-05-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

Aaaahhh, springtime in Ohio. The crazy politicians are in full bloom.

Our idiocy and corruption isn't limited to Republicans, no, we are equal opportunity incompetents here.

In case you haven't met our Attorney General, Marc Dann, let me introduce you. He proudly assumed office in January of 2007 on the campaign pledge to clean up corruption. It seems his plan has hit a snag.

Mr. Dann made his first foray into incompetence with ill advised analogies involving, well, The Crucifixion. When a local newspaper wrote a story some voters responded with unkind comments about Leo Jennings, Dann's head of communications (more on Leo in a moment.)

In an obvious effort to console his friend Mr. Dann told him 'Christ had it better on Good Friday'. Hhmm, lets see, public official who has been disagreed with, versus well, the torture and murder of the world's Savior. Yeah, thats just about the same, if you're a bit narcissistic.

Did I mention Mr. Dann is Jewish? Ouch. The Christians weren't very happy, then or now.

Did I mention this all unfolded about 10 months into his term? And only after a newspaper took him to court to get public records from his office?

Yeah, he got off to a rocky start.

But we are all about second chances in Ohio, if by second chance you mean internal investigation. Seems Mr. Dann had a condo outside of Columbus that he shared with 2 of his buddies, Leo, mentioned earlier, and Anthony Gutierrez, a section chief at the AG's Office. By the way Dann's wife and 3 kids are snuggled safely at home in Youngstown while he is shacked up with his buddies. How convenient.

Seems Dann's scheduler, a young woman in his office, was often a guest at the condo. In her pajamas. Umm yeah. In the last week Dann has admitted to an affair with an unnamed staffer. You don't say? I'm shocked. I wonder who it might be?

A couple months ago 2 women in their 20's came forward and made claims of sexual harassment, against the aforementioned Leo and Gutierrez. Claims include Gutierrez telling one woman she 'owed' him sex for getting her a job. He's a sweet talker, that one.

Did I mention that Dann and his friends are in their 40's and all the women involved are in their 20s? Thanks for reinforcing that stereotype that powerful men are also dirty old men.

The internal investigations that have ensued describe the AG's Office as a 'frat house atmosphere' and say it was difficult to work among the voluminous piles of 'foul language, sexual come-ons, heavy drinking and intimidation'.

So extreme is the sexual din in Marc Dann's office that one Columbus network has included this warning in its on-line story that lets you link to his e-mails;

Please be advised that the page that you would like to view is intended only for mature audiences and may include content that is not suitable for children. If you are 18 or older and are not bothered by such mature content, please click here

To be fair I read the e-mails, they are mostly about bagels. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Anyway, where are we now? Well several of the top officials in Dann's office have been fired, including friends Leo and Gutierrez. And one other high ranking person who tried to get people to lie about all this in the investigations.

On May 4th, led by Democratic Governor Ted Strickland and the head of the Ohio Democratic Party, a letter was issued to Dann telling him in no uncertain terms to resign or be impeached.

To that I say 'awesome'! I applaud their swift and certain response. But I have to wonder if it would have been that swift and certain if they didn't feel the need to deliver Ohio up to the Democratic Presidential hopeful, whoever that ends up being.

Oh, while Dann saw the need to fire his friends, the good news is he sees no need to resign himself. He says he is sorry and deeply diappointed, but he's not going anywhere. After all, he needs to get back to the business of cleaning up all that political corruption.

Gimme A Break...From the Gas Tax Plan

2008-05-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about how to create a witty, sarcastic post about the Gas Tax Plan. But I can't. Because every time I think of it I just want to scream 'WHAT ARE YOU MORONS THINKING?'

I'm sorry, was that too direct? A bit harsh? Let me explain.

The plan which Hillary and McCain have thus far backed is to give us a 'Gas Tax Holiday'. There are about 20 cents of federal tax on every gallon of gasoline. They are proposing that during the summer months the federal government would suspend that tax, thereby making gas in my town a mere $3.40 a gallon instead of its current $3.60 a gallon.

First, lets all remember that this gas tax pays for all our highway projects. After we fail to collect it for three months what will we be using to repair those roads? And how will we pay those workers who are normally repairing those roads? Oh right, unemployment checks. That sounds like a great way to lighten up the recession talk.

Second, could someone get Emily Post in here to tune politicians into the social faux pas that is regifting? Because basically, well yeah, thanks for giving me my own crap back.

Don't pretend you're doing me a favor here. That tax money was mine to being with. So basically the proposal is that you are going to give me a break by allowing me to keep my own stuff. And in the meantime my roads will deteriorate and my neighbors will be out of work. How generous of you.

Last, and most importantly in my opinion, the ability of this plan to actually work relies completely on blind trust that energy executives will hold gas prices steady. And, uuummm, I could be the dumb one here, but where is the evidence that they are interested in that?

These people didn't make billions of dollars in profits by overlooking opportunities to exploit global markets or by wringing their hands all day over how hard it is for the rest of us to buy gas. Oh contraire, don't you think they know we will pay $3.60 a gallon? And if you take away the tax, what will they see? Oh yes, room to expand profits by 20 cents a gallon.

And when the tax comes back then what? Yeah, we are even more screwed.

So before you 'help me out' by offering your wolves to guard my hen house. Maybe we should check with a bankrupt Enron janitor about just how trustable those big energy executives can be.

I Met the Anti-Christ

2008-04-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

I met the Anti-Christ last week. She's not as ugly as I thought she would be. And I thought she would be a he, not so. And she does not seem to have any particular religious affiliation, unless sex is a religion. Or drinking.

She pinched every butt, kissed every cheek and hugged for inappropriate lengths of time every stranger in a hundred mile radius. And I know far more about sex with politicians in the state of New York than I ever wanted to know.

If you've read 'The Devil Wears Prada' or watch much Food Network, well, you've met her too. Trust me, its far worse in person.

Don't Forget Your T-Shirt

2008-03-17T15:28:00.001-07:00

It always amuses me when Americans trot around with those catchy t-shirts proclaiming their support of some issue in a third world country.

Remember the 'End Apartheid' shirts everyone wore in the early 90's? Well congrats to the t-shirt wearers. Apartheid ended in South Africa in 1993.

In 1994 they elected their first black President, Nelson Mandela.

Wait a minute....slavery ended in the United States in 1865. Why, I'll be darned, that's 143 years ago. Gosh we must have had 10 or twelve black Presidents since then, huh?

What did you say? Not even one?

Well that's ok you can only do so much and we have spent a lot of time working on Women's Rights. All those female Presidents must have paved the way. Heck, women have been able to vote for like 88 years. Wait, none of those either? Really?

But didn't Pakistan, you know, a Muslim country already have a female President? Why by golly they did, in 1988 to be exact.

Yeah you heard me 20 years ago. You know, all those poor third world Muslim countries that we are over there fighting to save from themselves. The ones that segregate women and make them remain covered at all times? Yeah even they elected a female President.

Well, this is kind of embarassing.

Can I get a t-shirt that says 'Free Obama'?

Barack is Black

2008-03-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you've heard but Barack Obama is black. Yes, yes, I know, its quite a shock.

And here in America we are ALL ABOUT that equality thing. I mean as long as it doesn't take a whole lot of actual thought process or push us outside our comfort zone.

Don't get me wrong we're all about a black man for President, just not this one.

I mean first off, his name, wow, it just screams...well...not white. Can't the first black President at least be named Mike Johnson or something. You know something just a little black?

And well, that church he goes to , its Afro-centric. That can't be good, right?

I mean if he gets elected whats next? A Quaker President? I mean do you know those people mention their history of being founded in England like a lot? And to make matters worse they talk about embrassing diversity.

Oh, oops, I guess I forgot Nixon and Hoover were Quakers. So much for not electing Presidents that worship in places that celebrate their ethnicity.

Do you think maybe we could lay off Barack now?

What Hillary Could do to Earn My vote

2008-03-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have been mulling this over. Its a big one. I'm a life long Republican. And then it occurred to me. What could Hillary do to earn my vote?

Make the feminine rap anthem 'Bossy' by Kelis her official campaign song.

Yep, that's right, I say just own it.

Bob Taft and the Antiques Road Show

2005-11-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

So in case you don't know, there is this HUGE scandal in Ohio about money missing from the Bureau of Worker's Compensation Fund. See the thing USED to be in great shape, have MILLIONS of extra dollars, and every year every business that had to pay into it got like a 75% discount on its rate. Well, leave it to the government to look around and say, 'Hey, there's something thats working really well, lets go screw that up.'

So our Governor Bob Taft, (yeah the really old President's grandson) has this golfing buddy who sells rare collectibles, coins, baseball cards, you get the idea. Well all of a sudden one day someone realizes that several million dollars is missing out of the Workers Comp fund, when I say several I mean 55 million. 10 million of it appears to be permanently missing, poof gone, noone knows where, OOPS.

They start asking around and Bob eventually says, 'Oh yeah, I forgot, I bought some coins with that. But my buddy says not to worry about it because its a great idea. We can sell them later and make big profit.'

Now here's what I want to know......did these people have a few too many beers in front of an episode of the Antiques Road Show? How do we get to the place where a millionaire politician can walk into what I imagine is a powerful board room and say 'hey guys, I have a great idea. Lets spend 55 million dollars on gold coins'. Was he wearing a pirate outfit when he said it? Did he finish up with 'aye mateys!'.

Did anyone in the room have the good sense to bust out laughing and say, 'Sure Bob, and grab yourself an Amish quilt and a rare Wheaties Box while you're at it.'

Because you and I both know that if WE had gone into OUR bosses office and said 'Can I have some petty cash for some rare gold coins?' We'd still be explaining that to the nurse on the psych ward.

Now I must tell you that I have exaggerated. See Bob says that although the Collectible Guy was his golf buddy, and it was 55 MILLION dollars, and Bob was CONVICTED of ethics violations including free gifts from this particular Collectible Guy, Bob had no idea that this whole coin deal had gone down.

No idea it happened, no idea how much it was, no idea his friend got this sweet 55 MILLION dollar deal, no idea the money was missing, no sir.

Yeah, ...right Bob,.... now be quiet and hand me another beer, the Antiques Road show is coming back on.

Pushing My Moderate Limits

2005-11-02T16:48:00.000-08:00

Please note that according to various internet, personality and psychology tests I am CONSISTENTLY a Centrist. I am 60% Repub. 40% Dem. , economically moderate (43% permissive), socially moderate (56% permissive), religiously moderate (more grace than rule oriented) and prefer a functioning justice system that levies consequences mixed with treatment. While this may all sound as if I am trying to agree with everyone, believe me anyone who knows me will tell you nothing is further from the truth. I am very clear about what I know and believe and I don't follow what other people are thinking. I research issues and make choices for myself. I tend to barely lean Republican, and have for years. Which is what is so unusual about todays rant.

I SWEAR TO GOODNESS THE REPUBLICANS ARE MAKING ME CRAZY.

A) MIERS WAS NO LESS QUALIFIED THAN THAT RICH OVERPRIVILEGED BOOB THEY MADE CHIEF
JUSTICE. THEY AXED HER BECAUSE SHE WAS A WOMAN.

B) IF THEY TAKE AWAY MY MEDICAL, TAX, AND MORTGAGE INTEREST DEDUCTIONS I WILL LOSE MY MIND.

C) I LIVE IN A STATE WHERE BOB TAFT IS GOVERNOR HE IS FLUSHING IT DOWN THE TOILET.

HE HAS A 15% APPROVAL RATING, THE LOWEST OF ANY POLITICIAN IN RECORDED HISTORY
LOWER THAN NIXON AS HE WAS LEAVING OFFICE.

D) BOB GAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM OUR STATE WORKERS COMP FUND TO HIS FRIEND TO PUT INTO RARE COINS.
OOPS THE COINS AND THE MONEY DISSAPPEARED.

AS SOON AS I CAN GET ANYWHERE NEAR A BALLOT I AM PUNCHING ANYTHING THAT SAYS DEMOCRAT NEXT TO IT.

Be Sure to get Permission to Die

2005-11-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

I have a friend I have worked with for a long time. I love her dearly but on occassion she has what can only be described as an out of body experience. For reasons too difficult to list here we must discuss death in our office on occassion.

Here are two two priceless quotes she made as we were trying to gather details of death events on two different occassions....

'Now, did he die in his sleep or did he wake up dead?'

'Was he legally dead?' After this one I looked right at her and said no he was dead without permission, he is illegally dead I say. Perhaps she watched the Wizard of Oz the night before.

The Gym

2005-11-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

Well...if you can call it that. See I work out...well...if you can call it that. At one of these totally girly fru fru places. You know, all women, painted in pastels, lots of recipes and reminders to get your mammogram hanging on the walls. Only here's the thing. Its in this quaint little uppity Ohio town, full of old ladies. So like everyone who goes there seems to have showered coiffed and applied make-up first. Oh they'll jog ever so appropriately, with their matching work out suits.... except for me.

There I am, digging at eye boogers in a concert t-shirt.

And they're scared.

So finally the other day it happened, see they all talk to each other but noone has talked to me and I have been going, for several months now. One of the proper ladies simply pointed at my shirt and said 'whats that'.

I looked down and to my horror and amazement realized I was wearing my favorite t-shirt. I was forced to reply, "oh, thats from a Metallica concert. It says 'meet the inmates'. "

Oh yeah, the gym loves me......

My Pointed Finger

2005-09-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

I know everyone else is too busy, but I've got free time so lets start a round of the blame game.

Chertoff - I see you missed the memo, but let me fill you in, you died. I'm estimating six months ago from the looks of you. Feel free to lay down. If an obsession with jogging got you in that condition then please relax for a month or two and grab a few of those MREs. Really, the harsh look of death combined with the grating voice of the principal chastising us is NOT the comforting image we need in any national disaster.

Brown - The infamous FEMA director who in several interviews on Thursday, four days after the hurricane hit said he just found out that day people were in the Superdome, which is why he hadn't bothered to send them food and water. Tree people in South Korea knew the Superdome was full, AND STARVING. Don't go on TV if you are going to be this blatantly stupid.

Frist - In the last four months this goober spent much of his time on the floor of Congress giving speeches about why we should increase the amount of federal funding for the Boy Scouts. In my area the Scouts have a multi million dollar reserve fund. Uuuummm, are the Scouts cleaning up New Orleans??? NO, why are they getting any federal money at all? Haven't we trashed every program for education, social security, etc? This man is completely out of touch with reality and if I hear his voice coming out of my TV again I will slit my wrists.

George- Is there a TV on the ranch? Do you have macular degeneration? Its called a Media Consultant. Get one if you insist on continuing to hire these boobs. You look like a pile of rodeo clowns.

Nagin - I was in love with you when told the President and Governor to get their !#@ on a plane and get down there, but you issued the evacuation order less than 24 hours before Kat hit. You more than anyone knew that these citizens were largely impoverished, with transportation hardships, drug and crime problems, not the kind who may sit down and see the six o'clock news. They needed way more than 24 hours, you were not evacuating retirees, your town has a very different personality. Only you could really have known that and forced a plan to move early enough and fast enough to get the job done. The sheer size of your city needed 48 hours, federal troops were sent to the area on Friday and federal forecasters called you to recommend that you issue an evacuation. After you have been beautiful, but before??? Where were you??

So..I have my usual low grade eyeball rolling teeth grinding irritation with the white boy crew. I continue to be amazed at how people numb from the neck up get heralded as geniuses and elected to run the world. I am heart broken and dissappointed with Ray, but awaiting some explanations and still hopeful. But one person takes the cake...

Governor Blanco....this woman infurates me. Any decision Nagin does now make, she comes on TV and contradicts, with no explanation and for no apparent reason. The frustration from Nagin and federal officals with her is palpable. She seems unable to make a decision, she continually asks for at least a day to think through everything. Minutes count here, she doesn't have a day. She refuses to turn over the response to federalize it, which is why there is no central command, no centralized leadership for law enforcement units, no centralized search and rescue, or body recovery. It is why everything is less organized and slower, even now, 10 days later. Then she has the stupidity to come on TV last week and say she is very proud of their response, they have done a great job.

Uuuummm, Governor Blanco, those weren't shouts of joy, they were screams of pain and anguish from your citizens. And by the way, I hear Bill Frist is looking for a running mate for his Presidential bid, you'd make a great pair.

A Head is Mandatory

2005-08-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes newscasters say the dumbest things. There is this town, you know it, we all have one. Oh it is never OUR town. Its about 30 miles from here, its a drug and crime ridden hell hole. Yea, right, that place. We have one too. So the other night on TV the newscaster says, ' A headless torso has been found in a field outside of That Town. The Coroner is still trying to determine cause of death.'

And I'm thinking,.........I realize I'm no medical expert but I'd look into the headless thing. I'm pretty sure,..... I mean,....... I don't want to talk out of turn,...... am I remembering this correctly from High School biology???

DON'T YOU NEED YOUR HEAD TO LIVE?

Yes Alex, I'm going with decapitation for $1,000.

Its Hard to Care about T-Ball

2005-08-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

So there is this large club in town made up of community and business leaders, translation 'mostly old rich white guys'. The club often gets a bad rap for not doing much but writing checks, and often not to their full potential. So one year the leaders decided that they were going to do a community project that mattered. They said they'd really think about it, something big they'd really have to work, on something that would change the community. I found myself with renewed faith in them. We live in a great community, known for its huge parks system, with an enormous amount of soccer and playing fields for kids, with a huge economic base and growth rate, but they often ignore their 'true problems'. They were finally getting it and we were going to do something good. By some strange twist I am in this club, I am neither old, rich or a man, there are about 30 members in the club like me. Community leaders, not business leaders, all the responsibility, none of the cash. I am way too in touch with reality. I have met the boogey man, he lives amazingly close to the high school. He's over 40 and still calls his mother 'mommy'. (seriously) So these powerhouse people with great resources have access to a community needs assessment that discusses numerous topics like literacy and abuse and suicide and they finally come to the club to unveil their project. They have a multi year plan that will involve raising hundreds of thousands of dollars, with a hometown fella who has hit it as a HUGE national sports hero to ...drumroll please.....build baseball diamonds.

WHAT???

Oh wait excuse me, I mean its gonna' be a complex, its several diamonds, one of them is really big, I think it has special turf and stuff and a concession stand.

You've got to be kidding me..you can't drive down a street in this town without running into a soccer field, a park, a baseball diamond. There are like 2 or three ice hockey rinks, this place should be kicking out one professional athlete a week.

Meanwhile...we can't clear child rape cases because we don't have a Dr. in town certified to do juvenile exams, they regularly don't get done and the cases don't get prosecuted. We don't have enough staff to run supervised visits for abused kids, so they don't have to be left alone with the abusive parents, and the battered women's shelter is running a deficit, doesn't know if it can pay bills through the end of the year........but the people in this club are running around acting like we should all be getting our friends and families to donate thousands of dollars to this baseball diamond thing. Can't we make a baseball diamond for less than a couple hundred thousand dollars??? And if you have enough power to raise a couple hundred thousand dollars aren't there better uses for that money?

I saw a kid a while ago with his dad's boot print embedded in his back and I keep wondering if he's ever going to get to play on these ball diamonds. Its kind of hard to care about T-ball with your dad's boot print embedded in your back.

Kautious Karen

2005-08-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

So Kautious Karen was driving in front of me on the way into work yesterday. I'm sure thats who it was, you could tell by the way we adhered strictly to the speed limit and slowed to a torturous near halt to make those treacherous turns. Her pert brown ponytail was nearly obscured by that headrest, which was raised to the perfectly appropriate height, not that she was in any danger of giving herself whiplash. I am sure it was there to protect her from fanatics like me who might ram into the back of her trying to actually get somewhere on time. I thought about simply opening up my car door on one of those turns and jogging up to her car, (I certainly could have which is saying something because I am WAY out of shape), and mentioning to her that others of us would appreciate picking up the pace. And then I realized God gives me those people intentionally, like an irritating little gift. Lets face it Kautious Karen was helping me, the Lord knows I need supervision. I need to be slowed down, made to obey the rules, stopped from getting anymore speeding tickets. So thanks Kautious Karen, to you and your ever irritating gaggle of friends, Farmer Frank, Sally Slowpoke, Betty Bluehair, Pokey Paula, where ever you all are gathered to play Bridge or Bunko, remember...have a safe trip home!

one more thing i never wanted to do

2005-08-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

One more thing I never wanted to do just left my office. I really want to take some time to cry. Not for the feelings I have but for the feelings I don't have. He's a very smart man. I wonder if he saw it. I hope that I put on a good enough show, I used to want to see him in person but now I like the phone time. I am much better at seeming interested and connected there. I hope I was good enough to avoid a confrontation, I hope he has lost interest in discussing 'it'. I pretended once already to do some repairs, no it wasn't pretend I really tried, the destruction just wells back up. I hope he just wanders away and we forget to know each other.

Its on like Donkey Kong

2005-08-11T03:48:00.000-07:00

So I got hooked on what is arguably the dumbest reality show of all time. The good news is that the only other live person I know who watches it is 16. I am pretty sure if the people who rely on me to make daily decisions knew I was hooked on this show and understood it, they'd drive me to the county line, drop me off and tell me to never come back.

Anyway, I think what I love about this show is the blissful, utter escape. It is all fun, mindless, nothing like intense, lots of things to make fun of, including the contestants and their often tilted approach to life. Apparently these people never have to sit around thinking how do I protect my public image, how do I keep peace in this difficult moment, how do I maintain an open line of communication with someone I don't like for the sake of someone or something else? Which brings me to Slavcardo. (I will not take time to define it here. Locate a longer explanation for yourself somewhere else, oh yes its an insider joke. )

Its the essence of the show, one of those gut splitting moments no other dignified show would dare deliver. One of the contestants expresses brewing tension with another by resurrrecting this wonderful catch phrase probably coined before he was born, "Its on, its on like donkey kong."

And ever since I have heard it I have been waiting, for that moment in a meeting, with a Judge, Commissioner, in Columbus with a legislator when we are disagreeing and things are not going so well. For once, instead of smiling and giving the ever popular, 'we can agree to disagree ', I'm just going to go all 'reality tv' on their George Bush haircuts. I'm going to stand right up and say, 'you honestly allocated more money to mosquito spraying than child abuse programs? Yea, well its on, its on like donkey kong.' And then walk right out.

Aaaahh, just the possibility provides me great relief.........

One more thing I never wanted to do.

2005-08-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

My life seems to be a series of accidents or things other people want or need me to do, a series of stones I have to jump on to get somewhere else I want to go. Why would this blog be any different. Oh well, everyone needs a diary, right?